In an effort to make a little extra money during the holidays, I volunteered to be a nanny for a family while their regular nanny (one of my best friends) is out of town. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. The first day on the job, I am welcomed by two huge german shepherds covered in mud (their guard dogs, I suppose) who jumped all over me leaving my perfect nanny outfit with brown stains all over it. Lovely.
The morning was pretty easy until the mom left to go get manicures with a friend and asked the 7 year old girl to go with her. The two boys, a ten year old and a 3 year old, were upset because they wanted to go too, so instead of saying "too bad, it's a girl's trip" the mom decides to cheer them up by giving me a hundred dollars and telling me to go to Target and buy them toys. I salivated a little, seeing a hundred dollar bill, and could not believe that was really happening. Mind you, this is just a few days before Christmas, and I'm buying her kids toys? The youngest was of course happy with a $5 toy car, but the oldest bought a $30 battery-powered nerf gun that shoots 20 rounds at a time at super high speeds.
This was my first mistake. That gun has quickly become the bane of my existence. If he doesn't get something more interesting for Christmas to play with, I swear I'm gonna crush the damn thing with my car.
As much as I completely adore the kids, they certainly give me reason to want to walk right out the door and never look back. The girl (who is 7) is always asking me very inappropriate questions about sex and vaginas and "peckers" (as the kids call them). She also enjoys trying to grab my boobs and make out with me. I mean, I understand the girl is curious, but do I really have to be the one to explain to her that it's very bad to grab your little brother's private parts? Isn't that what a mother is for?
The oldest one is usually easy, but in this case he is constantly tormenting his brother and sister, pushing the line between playing and hurting, and always making them laugh and then scream and cry for help. Now that he has this big nerf gun, he is always threatening to shoot them. And, no matter what I do, the kid will not listen to me. Aren't most 10 year olds supposed to have nothing to do with you? Don't they just want to play video games all day? I don't know.
Now, the youngest one is a dream. He's the sweetest little boy, and the easiest one to deal with, except when you pay too much attention to him, and his sister gets jealous and locks herself in her room.
I don't understand how it is that a nanny raises these kids. She puts them to bed every night, gives them baths, reads books to them, disciplines them, and apparently has to have awkward sex conversations with them. The 3 year old even calls me mommy sometimes, and I have to correct him. It's sad, but at least I can take this opportunity to teach them some manners and respect, two things they seem to be lacking in.
Now I'm watching this freaky show on TLC about this Arkansas family who has 17 kids, and is pregnant with one more, and I'm thinking, if these two parents can raise 18 kids on their own, how come two educated professionals in California need so much help for just 3?
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