The Nerdiest Vacation Ever

I had the great pleasure a few weekends ago of visiting the Utah Shakespeare Festival with my family. Now, I had no expectations going into this thing. I thought it might be a sort of renaissance faire with people dressed up eating turkey legs and things calling each other wenches. I didn't care. I just went to spend time with my family.

The first day, we arrived at the bed and breakfast at which we would be staying for the weekend. Never in my life have I seen a more stereotypical kitschy, tacky, knick-knacky, haunted house-resembling dwelling in my whole life. It came complete with a full library of Shakespeare books, VHS tapes, floral wallpaper, and a black cat.

Our room was located on the 3rd floor (formerly the attic, I'm sure) and was decorated in a very obvious Asian theme. There were kimonos, a thousand buddha figurines, little asian shoes, creepy asian dolls that looked like they might come alive while I was sleeping, and even one of those room divider things with all the asian writing on them. There was also a jacuzzi tub located right next to the bed. Interesting.

The most fascinating part about a bed and breakfast is the breakfast. It was served from 8-9am (severely early) and was always accompanied by the most uninteresting criticism and literary discussions about Shakespeare and the plays that were being performed at the festival. Best plan is to not make eye contact with anyone, lest you be forced to share personal information with strangers before you've even had your morning coffee.

But the point of the trip was the festival, and we did get to see two wonderful productions. Being an avid people-watcher, though, I couldn't help but observe the behavior of our fellow festival attendees. In between plays, I took notice of what people did during their down time. Most people sat next to one another reading books. They read books inside, outside, at tables, on the lawn, during intermission, waiting for shows to start, and some even read while walking (difficult task). People could also be found knitting. During intermission, I saw an average of 4 people knitting. Also, every person there looked like an English teacher. I bet if we gathered a random sample of people from the surrounding cities, every single person would have been able to point out their English teacher in the audience. Average age: 40+ or under 7.

Needless to say, my family seemed rather out of place. Good thing we are the kind of people who can have fun together no matter what we're doing. Whether we're making fun of the knitting English teachers with their fanny packs or joking about the nerdy souvenirs in the gift shop, we can always enjoy just being together. We're definitely going back next year.